How to Break Free from the Lethal Trap of Security and Comfort

This has been my main theme recently, to unleash the chains of ‘’comfort’’ and security, and step into freedom and exploration. As much as it has become a recurrent, almost nagging theme in Spirituality and Personal Development fields to ‘Step out of your Comfort Zone’, the actual experience of it and how to get out of it is quite interesting, and can be experienced differently for various people.

As for myself, the chains of comfort came when I settled into a relationship. Before this relationship started, I was broken to pieces. Lost, confused, anxious, depressed, and on my knees begging for answers. I was desperately craving growth, expansion, and anything to get out of my misery. I did everything I possibly could to help myself out, from therapies to yoga and meditation, workshops, retreats, coaches, healers, even medication, the list goes on. Nothing worked. I was stuck in that viscious cycle of hopelessness and desperation, at my core not believing or seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. When this relationship came along, it finally made me see the light, come up for a breath of air, and slowly climb out of my hole. It was an amazing and uplifting journey of self-discovery and growth. Yet a couple of months in, something slowly and sneakily creeped in and killed the momentum and ultimately sabotaged everything. Comfort. I became comfortable where I was, I became ‘’ok’’, I didn’t need more. I lost my drive for growth, my curiosity, my sense of exploration and discovery. Because I was out of that nightmarish reality, I settled for what I had, and decided that was enough for now. But that sabotaged both my own growth, my partner’s, and the relationship.

I had settled into this lingering, latent state of comfort, and as long as the cushion was there (the relationship), I was stuck in it. I couldn’t for the life of me find my drive and passion, my sense of direction and purpose. I felt powerless, somewhat numb, merely and blindly going along, and without knowing it, clinging to the security of the relationship for dear life. Terrified of falling back to my prior hell hole. The only times I would find a glimpse of drive and aliveness was when the relationship was on the line and I risked losing it. Then my survival mechanism embarked and that kicked me out of comfort.

As the relationship was crumbling apart, and that cushion was being removed from me, it took quite a large dose of bravery and making a decision that shifted everything. I was going to dive in no matter the outcome, be okay with feeling pain, be okay with falling; whatever it took to gain my power back and break free! I couldn’t take one more second of that excruciating powerless, dependant, weak state. I realised at that moment there was nothing comfortable about it after all, it was lethal. I had no idea how it was even going to be possible, but I knew I had to make the decision to let go, face the immense fear of loneliness and failure, and step into this new path. And I haven’t regretted for a single moment since ! As much as it is a rollercoaster ride of emotions, ups and downs, doubts and fears still by my side most times, I have finally found my drive and power back, and that of itself is absolute Gold ! I feel more alive, confident, exited for the future. I feel a world of possibilities opening up before my eyes. All it took was a decision, to Jump !!