Finding serenity

This inner-quest I’ve set off on in the past years brought me to heal my wounds, discover my interests, explore different avenues, scrape off everything I thought was to start from scratch. It's been a heck of a mountain to climb to “find myself”.

And I still feel like I just scraped the surface.

I feel like it was a necessary passage to have that stronger foundation on what to build my life on. But I’ve come to realize that amidst all this search within and outside myself, the only thing I really need is inner-peace.

When I have that, nothing else matters and everything falls into place.

There is no further questioning or endless search for answers.

The most precious gift I’ve had are those moments where the relentless yearning calms down, and I feel this subtle yet expansive serenity within my Soul that whispers : You’re okay. You’re all okay, and everything is perfect, just now.

And the only thing I can strive for is extend those moments into minutes, hours, days, until it becomes a constant state I can have the privilege of living my life from.

Having dreams and aspirations are great, and necessary, but bottom line none of them matter nor would they even come to life if I don’t have that underlying stability, peace and quiet of mind.

So I decided to take a break from “the search” and simply explore what brings me peace, and how to keep it.

Lately I’ve been feeling like a feather, blown away with the wind at the slightest turn. Deprived from my inner-peace for days on end for such meaningless things. It can be really frustrating, but can also be a call to explore and further understand myself.

I know and I’ve come to accept the fact that I’m very sensitive. I can easily get triggered, or get affected more than the ‘norm’. But that doesn’t mean I have to suffer for days before finally regaining my sanity.

If that peace becomes the most precious thing I have and I commit to honor it, place it as priority, I don’t think it would vanish so swiftly.

I value serenity more than anything. More so than joy, excitement, drive, aliveness. Because without it I can’t have any of those.

Serenity where I find my freedom; when I’m liberated from the burden of worry and fears, and simply dwell in this soft, simple, comforting energy.

It’s where my Soul lights up, my heart expands and my mind releases it's grip, giving me the inestimable sense of being alive and at peace within myself.

So I make it my personal oath to place my serenity above all else, remembering that’s the only way I can actually be of service to this world, and is ultimately all I need.