Learning to sit with it

Discomfort is a natural and integral part of our everyday lives, that is a given. However, how we choose to cope with it can be a game changer. It's where a simply passing uncomfy feeling can have the power to completely disrupt our flow, clarity and overall well-being.

Whether it be emotional, physical or circumpstantial, uneasiness comes and goes, but in this era of instant gratification, we yearn for instant relief from any type of discomfort or dis-ease. We unrealistically strive to feel good at all times. At the very least, feel ''Okay''.

Or better put; numb.

Because with feeling comes the highs and lows, the amazing uplifting ones as much as the mucky, unpleasant.

When we feel numb or on neutral however, which I was on for the better part of the last decade, we always have a sense of being in control; of being ontop of things. Not at the mercy of the emotional waves that come with the human existence. But at the high cost of feeling dead inside...

A price I am no longer willing to pay.

Sure enough the emotions can take a toll on you when you're not used to feeling them, let alone dealing with them, but I prefer the latter than having a rock where my heart used to be.

At least in these motions I can feel alive;

At least I have the opportunity to learn about myself and grow everyday.

At least I can be more and more aware of my patterns, reactions, triggers, what makes me feel good and what makes me go off.

And I can learn not to let emotions take full control of me either.

I can be grateful for whatever triggered me, and choose what to do with that experience. To give it the power to highjack all my thoughts, feelings and make me spiral downwards? Or invite it in, sit with it and befriend it.

There can be such beauty in embracing and living an emotion fully, the ''good'' as much as the ''negative'' ones. Emotions being simply energy in motion, let it move through you and watch how quickly it transcends into another lighter sensation!

Learn how to deal with discomfort as simply a passing cloud with a pointer, a message, a lesson. It's still hard for me not to get caught up, especially if it's deeply engraved belief systems from my past, which have had power over me for such a long period;

But everytime I remember this and I'm able to face it, I undo the lid I had tightly squeezed around my heart and I feel a sense of liberation.

I've jammed and supressed so much crap over the years that every release feels like a rock is lifted from over me and I can peep my head out, grasp fresh air, feel alive again!

But, everytime I shove it down with an avoidance mechanism of some sort, everything closes up on me.

If I use food or another substance to avoid a feeling, I just pile up a handful of shitty feelings over the initial one.

If I compulsively distract on social media, I just push away the problem momentarily until the next time it pops up, probably more insistently...

Sometimes its so subtle I'm not even aware I'm in avoidance. I just suddenly have a strong urge for some kind of fix; a coffee, a snack, Facebook scroll, etc.

That need to reach outwards to fix something inside is about the most irrational yet easiest way to cope.

It's extremely difficult to just sit there and feel whatever it is that we don't want to feel. Not try to avoid it or even fix it.

Just sit with it for the duration of it's visit, which can be surprisingly short if we give it our full attention!

I'm still learning everyday about this. I see my limitations, being as aware as I possibly can when something comes in that disrupts my peace of mind and well-being.

To be honest I still get caught up most times, but I grow stronger from every wave that passes. And I have hope that rather than being washed away at every turn, I will learn to embrace them merely as a passing messenger I can recognize, invite in to hear out what they have to say, and continue on my merry way !