Connection was the answer

As most of us know, we are beings of connection. It is what we thrive on, it’s what makes us feel alive, it literally feeds our Soul! Being disconnected from myself and the world around me, I deprived myself of this food for my soul. No wonder I turned to external things to try to fill that bottomless hole. No wonder I could never find peace within myself no matter what I would do. No wonder I had such a hard time being at ease in social situations, even with people closest to me. I never felt that deeper connection that would soothe my aching heart and calm my frantic mind.

If only I would have known that connection was the answer to almost all of the pain inside;

If only I would have known that there was nothing wrong with me, that I wasn’t dysfunctional or inadequate; I just hadn’t found the right people or places with whom I could let my guard down, and make space for deeper connection.

If I could tell my younger self one thing, it would be to trust that the Universe is conspiring in my favor for my best interest, if only I follow my feelings! All this uneasiness, agitation, confusion and chaos inside of me was simply telling me :

« ~wrong direction, sweetie!~

You’re not the problem, you’ve just become a master at putting yourself in the wrong places, and getting stuck there. Feeling like you have no other options, so if you’re not happy, you must be doing something wrong! »

I want to turn this master self-destructive skill into a master at following my inner-compass! Knowing I’m never stuck, that I always have the power to leave, change or turn a situation around so that it’s aligned with my true self.

Connection to others is what unlocked all of this. It’s what gave me the enough belief in myself to start seeing my value. It’s what reminded me how beautiful opening up to people is, how good closeness feels, and how relieving it is to know you’re loved the way you are. Without connection, i was always on survival mode; endlessly seeking for the next thing that would make me feel better, that would patch that emptiness. By connecting more deeply to myself and to others, my fears and insecurities melted and left place for trust, guidance and intuition to slowly come in. It calmed my frenzied mind in knowing I can stop paddling upstream and allow things to happen naturally, easily and effortlessly!